Invective - (abuse)
In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
I wrote this poem because emotional abuse is often misunderstood or overlooked. Emotional abuse (sometimes referred to as psychological abuse) is when a person repetitively attempts to control or undermine another, most often verbally (e.g. criticism, blame, humiliation, threats) but can include other non-physical behavior as well (e.g. withholding affection, isolation, disrespecting boundaries, harsh treatment). Sometimes the abuser doesn’t realize what they’re doing or think that it is wrong, but it is. It is very harmful and destructive. While I wrote this poem about emotional abuse, all abuse is wrong. If you or someone you know is being abused, there are people who can help you. Call the number above if you need help. Learn what the signs of abuse are so you can help others. I posted links to some articles on emotional abuse below.
"Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use [physical forms of harm.] Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his/her weapon of choice."
quote from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201609/when-is-it-emotional-abuse
“Emotional abuse is a form of brain-washing that slowly erodes the victim's sense of self-worth, security, and trust in themselves and others. […] It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, financial control and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation.”
quote from https://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse
“Emotional abuse is like this: You’re filled with a sickening dread every morning knowing you’re facing another day of psychological warfare. You’re perpetually drained because all your energy is expended trying to keep your partner happy (and, you’ll eventually come to realize, those efforts are in vain). You’re nauseous, anxious, fearful — one or all — when interacting with your partner. This is your life every other minute of every day.”
quote from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/abby-rodman-licsw/youre-not-going-crazy-5-s_b_8889808.html
That you feel no remorse, I deeply regret,
But forgiveness from me is not a lost art.
I wrote this poem because emotional abuse is often misunderstood or overlooked. Emotional abuse (sometimes referred to as psychological abuse) is when a person repetitively attempts to control or undermine another, most often verbally (e.g. criticism, blame, humiliation, threats) but can include other non-physical behavior as well (e.g. withholding affection, isolation, disrespecting boundaries, harsh treatment). Sometimes the abuser doesn’t realize what they’re doing or think that it is wrong, but it is. It is very harmful and destructive. While I wrote this poem about emotional abuse, all abuse is wrong. If you or someone you know is being abused, there are people who can help you. Call the number above if you need help. Learn what the signs of abuse are so you can help others. I posted links to some articles on emotional abuse below.
"Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use [physical forms of harm.] Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his/her weapon of choice."
quote from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201609/when-is-it-emotional-abuse
“Emotional abuse is a form of brain-washing that slowly erodes the victim's sense of self-worth, security, and trust in themselves and others. […] It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, financial control and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation.”
quote from https://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse
“Emotional abuse is like this: You’re filled with a sickening dread every morning knowing you’re facing another day of psychological warfare. You’re perpetually drained because all your energy is expended trying to keep your partner happy (and, you’ll eventually come to realize, those efforts are in vain). You’re nauseous, anxious, fearful — one or all — when interacting with your partner. This is your life every other minute of every day.”
quote from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/abby-rodman-licsw/youre-not-going-crazy-5-s_b_8889808.html
Invective - (abuse)
Living in fear, breathing carefully
I know people get angry but must they take it out on me?
I can’t help the way they feel,
But must I accept their angry spiel?
Must I take the blame and endure forced liability?
Why is it my responsibility to realign reality,
To manipulate circumstances to keep them from feeling fury?
Why am I made to feel guilty?
Unreasonable, unrealistic
Yet the blame is still mine.
They shriek and berate,
Harangue, manipulate,
And if I dare have a spine?
Insolent. Defiant.
Cursed Selfish Egotistic
Because the blame must be mine.
Never enough or else just too much,
Efforts or habits, nothing is safe from their touch.
Made to feel guilty
Made to feel insolvency
Left in a state of misguided culpability
Every blemish scrutinized
Catastrophically analyzed
The bar reaches above the heavens
While I brokenly stare
At a mess I can never fix
And inanely hope for forgiveness.
For every harsh stroke laid on my soul
They constantly remind me I deserve this.
Haunted by disapproval
Believing myself incapable
Destructive words
Invade my soul
Abusive words
Inveigh against me
Destructive words,
Destructive words
Tainting all beauty.
This dark edge that slinks
Worming its way to center stage,
These dusky thoughts
Overcastting into the soul,
This gloom that shadows purpose
That shatters pleasures,
Their pessimism and displeasure are now my own
Feelings I feel towards myself…
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…It’s been awhile since we last met,
Since I’ve been beyond the reach of your barbed net,
Free from your selfish tendrils curling around my heart.
I’ve found calming peace, since my restart.
A secluded solace, safely apart,
Detached from your bitter, controlling remarks.
Since our parting the air I breathe here
Is no longer toxic. It’s free of fear.
I don’t walk in shadows while I’m awake,
I don’t cry at night from deep heartache,
You can’t crush me anymore.
Go ahead and say hello,
You’ll be quite surprised to find,
I’m not that mushy, squishy dough.
I’ve changed. I hope you don’t mind.
I’ve found my strength and wish you would too
Not harm disguised as power that you mindlessly accrue.
Not this fake strength you wish to wield,
Not the anger which you use
For any destructive purpose you choose.
This abusive pain on which you build your reign,
From this abusive pain--please refrain.
For true power begets life and light,
Instead of damage and darkness, destroying like mildew.
If only we could’ve learned to talk through,
To work together, to listen,
But you always insisted
You were the only victim.
I don’t deny your feelings but
Your abuse I just can’t ignore.
I know people get angry but must they take it out on me?
I can’t help the way they feel,
But must I accept their angry spiel?
Must I take the blame and endure forced liability?
Why is it my responsibility to realign reality,
To manipulate circumstances to keep them from feeling fury?
Why am I made to feel guilty?
Unreasonable, unrealistic
Yet the blame is still mine.
They shriek and berate,
Harangue, manipulate,
And if I dare have a spine?
Insolent. Defiant.
Cursed Selfish Egotistic
Because the blame must be mine.
Never enough or else just too much,
Efforts or habits, nothing is safe from their touch.
Made to feel guilty
Made to feel insolvency
Left in a state of misguided culpability
Every blemish scrutinized
Catastrophically analyzed
The bar reaches above the heavens
While I brokenly stare
At a mess I can never fix
And inanely hope for forgiveness.
For every harsh stroke laid on my soul
They constantly remind me I deserve this.
Haunted by disapproval
Believing myself incapable
Destructive words
Invade my soul
Abusive words
Inveigh against me
Destructive words,
Destructive words
Tainting all beauty.
This dark edge that slinks
Worming its way to center stage,
These dusky thoughts
Overcastting into the soul,
This gloom that shadows purpose
That shatters pleasures,
Their pessimism and displeasure are now my own
Feelings I feel towards myself…
|
|
|
|
|
\/
|
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\/
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\/
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…It’s been awhile since we last met,
Since I’ve been beyond the reach of your barbed net,
Free from your selfish tendrils curling around my heart.
I’ve found calming peace, since my restart.
A secluded solace, safely apart,
Detached from your bitter, controlling remarks.
Since our parting the air I breathe here
Is no longer toxic. It’s free of fear.
I don’t walk in shadows while I’m awake,
I don’t cry at night from deep heartache,
You can’t crush me anymore.
Go ahead and say hello,
You’ll be quite surprised to find,
I’m not that mushy, squishy dough.
I’ve changed. I hope you don’t mind.
I’ve found my strength and wish you would too
Not harm disguised as power that you mindlessly accrue.
Not this fake strength you wish to wield,
Not the anger which you use
For any destructive purpose you choose.
This abusive pain on which you build your reign,
From this abusive pain--please refrain.
For true power begets life and light,
Instead of damage and darkness, destroying like mildew.
If only we could’ve learned to talk through,
To work together, to listen,
But you always insisted
You were the only victim.
I don’t deny your feelings but
Your abuse I just can’t ignore.
That you feel no remorse, I deeply regret,
But forgiveness from me is not a lost art.
I wish you well and hope you have a new start.
I won’t let you crush me anymore.
I won’t let you crush me anymore.
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