Monochrome

Trying something different. This poem is just as much about appearance as the words. 

Monochrome
Some days I feel like I’m living in monochrome
and everyone else is living in color
and I just can’t experience the beautiful colors.



  They look so happy smiling in that special way
 Doing sweet things and living a lovely day
 But I can’t say I’ve felt the same
Hazy grey, lackluster mist
Ashen taupe
Lacerated hope, grasping at wind


 They say the world is vibrant
 Endowed with glossy hues
 An endless adventure
 A treasure-trove discovered
 Look at them, excitement profuse
 Life of colors everyday imbued
 Joy on their faces suffuse
 Bright beads adorn their necks
 They live in dazzling array
 Not one trace of grey
Daunting hours spread on end
Ragged, haggard
This unbecoming state
Undressed yet clothed in bleakness
--curse this weakness--
It is myself I begin to hate


  Contagious smiles
 Irradiant dreams
 Iridescent friendships
 Detailed tapestry of woven memories and history
 Harmonized conversations
 Ricocheting laughter, a surrounding embrace
 Joyous jade
 Ardent amaranth 
 Mirthful mint
 Raucous ruby
 Lending hands, supporting friends
 Inside jokes, lasting love
 Sweetness without end
Dark silence greets me every morn
Cold slivers of melting ice
This morning routine of thawing
No progress seems to be made
Starting over
Day after day
Is there nothing I can control
Is there no way to return
How does one get to live
 In the bright world of color

Beautiful blue, radiant red
Gorgeous green, spirited sapphire
Obnoxious orange!
Precious pink!
Shimmering Silver!
Emblazoned Emerald!
Animated Amber!
Vivid, Volatile, Virtuous Violet!






Melancholy and listlessness, comforting feel of grey
No energy to press on
Forever slogging through each day
Grey is silent and calm
A floating cloud
Never engaged just always around
When grey is there for so long
One forgets what liveliness feels like
One forgets what colors look like 
One shies away from brightness
So over stimulating
So much work emotionally
It’s been so long
I’ve forgotten
Forgotten how to be attached
Forgotten how to enjoy the colors

 Come in contact with the passionate red--fear of being burned up

 Mingling with the bright happy yellow--loud melodies causing loss of senses

 Working with the obstinate orange--caring requires exertion 

 Periwinkle pessimist--too many burdens to bear



Maybe I’ll stay
With my solitude of grey
I have not the energy
To become so sensory
Perhaps one day
This all will be a distant memory
I’ll be free of this lethargy
And monochrome grey 
I have hope it won't always be this way

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